Next year Will Be My Year

This Post Is From 3-4-2025

Fave Song At Time Of Post

Song: Dirty
Artist: grandson

Whats On My Brain?

Well I fell off this due to the new year. Not toooooo surprised. With the world both literally and figuratively on fire, I took some time for me. With the state of the world and state of my home country, I've been so upset, angry, and scared. Genuinely scared, for both my community as a whole and my family. I won't get too deep into the political climate that has me so afraid as I'll go back into my space where I avoid everything after too long.
Since the turn of the new year and changing of the political leadership that occurred I've spent more and more time online. Specifically back in VRChat. I've used it as a tool as of recent to allow myself to regress back to simpler times and become avoidant. I did this a few years ago too so Im not all that surprised that this is the pattern Ive found myself in. Beyond that small pleasure I allow myself, it has been rough. Lots of sadness. BPD spirals, depression, anger, pain. Time has not been kind to me.

So with that I get into the main meaning of the post. "Next year will be my year." I actually said that on day one of this year. The moment I felt the vibes that was 2025 I knew that this start of the latter half of this decade was NOT going to be kind. So I threw in the towel. Is that going to stop me from progressing forward in life? No. I have and always will continue to fight while making the occasional joke of ending my life. That is how I've always been and will continue to be. But I'm prepping go bags and encouraging my loved ones to do the same. I'm gonna learn spray paint art and lettering so If I want to be politically active later on I can be, on the side of buildings and in more radically charged ways. I'm gonna continue to sporadically update this page to ensure I continue to keep myself on track in regards to life progress. This personal project gives me great joy and so I refuse to abandon it.

Wish me luck...
And Get Your hands Dirty.
~Emmi